Warning · Federal-feeling notice

FEDERAL FEELING NOTICE

It has come to our attention that the DORZL Box CD Collection may be accessed or distributed through peer-to-peer file-sharing networks.

This collection is protected by copyright, and its reproduction without authorization is prohibited.

Licensed access to the complete collection is available through DORZL One. To subscribe, please visit DORZL.com/one.

YOU ARE ALREADY HERE.

DORZL ONE

OFFICIAL LICENSED ACCESS

The complete conversation, on forty-seven compact discs.

Stop seeding. Start belonging. DORZL One is the only authorized way to hear “Hey dude are you falling asleep while we are discussing?” at the bitrate the law prefers.

Subscribe — $3.33/mo Inspect the Box

No payment is collected. The license is theatrical. The guilt is real.

A ridiculous sapphire-blue CD box set, dozens of jewel cases thick.
A blank sapphire compact disc.
Now playing · Disc 1, Track 1 Hey dude are you falling asleep while we are discussing?

The collection

Detected activity

LIMEWIRE  ::  session 3:33
file      ::  DORZL_BOX_CD_COLLECTION_COMPLETE.iso
size      ::  47 discs, mostly silence
seeders   ::  2
leechers  ::  you, probably
status    ::  please stop, we have a store now
protocol  ::  the bush, also BitTorrent
note      ::  reproduction without authorization
              is prohibited. we said that already.
Disc Title Len
01 Hey Dude (Are You Falling Asleep) 12:00
02 Admit 0:47
03 Don’t Admit 1:00
04 Mumble Deflections ∞
05 The Unlimited Plan Is Forty 3:33
14 You Just Walk Out of Stores Like That 2:14
22 Wild People in the Grass 8:08
33 Night Walk (There Is No Door) 1:00
46 Hidden track: Violence K.O.
47 3:33 (still) 3:33

Discs 6–13, 15–21, 23–32, and 34–45 are the same conversation, mastered quieter.

A 2006 bedroom desk: CRT, beige tower, cables, and a stack of burned CDs.

Compare your options

P2P DORZL One
The complete Box maybe yes, in spirit
Bitrate whatever 128kbps, the legal amount
Guilt artisanal licensed
A door on Night Walk no also no
Associate approval he noticed you’re all set

Subscribe

ONE HOUSE
$4.47 / mo
  • Up to 5 devices
  • Still one conversation
  • Someone has to carry it
ONE
$3.33 / mo
  • The complete Box CD Collection
  • One listener. One burden.
  • Official “I have a license” feeling
ONE LIFETIME
$333 once
  • We mail you a flyer
  • Whenever
  • The clock does not move

Fine print, spoken aloud

Can I still put it on LimeWire?

It has come to our attention that you asked this. Please don’t. That is the whole page.

Do I receive physical CDs?

You receive the idea of forty-seven compact discs. Shipping a real box of that size would require a door, and we have been clear about doors.

Is this a real subscription?

No money is taken. No account is created. DORZL One is a theatrical license for a collection that is also a video game. You may still feel licensed. That is the product.

What if I fall asleep during the discussion?

That is Disc 1. Please admit, then let him finish.

Does this unlock Night Walk?

No. You still have to faint. DORZL One is not a door.

DORZL, DORZL One, and the DORZL Box CD Collection are presented for amusement. The copyright notice is a bit. Reproduction of the bit without authorization is ironically the point. Compatible with Discman, Winamp, the ATT store, and your conscience. Not compatible with peer-to-peer file-sharing networks, which is why we are here.